Gourmet or Garbage? How to Pick Dog Treats Without Getting Fooled
If you’ve ever stood in the dog treat aisle looking like you’re cramming for a final exam, you’re not alone. Picking the right and best dog treats can feel like choosing a preschool for your kid—except your kid might eat poop if you’re not watching.
But don’t fret. I’m here to help you navigate this treat tornado like a pro so your dog ends up happy, healthy, and only moderately spoiled.
Why Dog Treats Matter (More Than Just Bribery)
Listen, treats aren’t just “bribes.” Okay, sometimes they’re totally bribes. But they’re also essential tools for:
✅ Training: Want your dog to actually listen? Treats are your magic wand.
✅ Bonding: Nothing says “I love you” like sharing a snack.
✅ Mental stimulation: Chewing keeps them busy so they don’t remodel your couch.
✅ Health: Some treats clean teeth better than my uncle scrubs his dentures.
So while it’s fun to spoil them, treats can also serve a purpose. Think of them as doggy currency. And your dog is VERY aware of the exchange rate.
Types of Dog Treats: Know Your Options Before Fido Starts Shopping for Himself
Let’s break it down like you’re telling your cousin at Thanksgiving why he shouldn’t feed the dog turkey bones.
1. Biscuits and Crunchy Treats
These are your classic, no-nonsense, “grandma-approved” options. Crunchy treats are great for:
- Everyday rewards
- Breaking into smaller bites for training
- Scraping a bit of tartar off those chompers
They’re the saltines of the dog world. Nothing fancy, but reliable as heck.
2. Soft and Chewy Training Treats
Training? You’ll want small, tasty, easy-to-eat treats that don’t require your dog to stop and read the fine print.
Pros:
- Quick to chew = keeps training fast-paced
- High-value flavors keep attention
- Usually lower-calorie if you pick smartly
Just don’t use the whole bag in one session unless you want to roll your dog home like a sausage.
3. Long-Lasting Chews
For the “I’m gonna eat the furniture” crowd. These tough chews are:
- Great for boredom
- Satisfy the primal urge to chew
- Help with dental health
Pro tip:
Pick appropriately sized chews. Don’t give a chihuahua a chew that looks like a baseball bat.
4. Natural Treats (Dehydrated, Single-Ingredient, Etc.)
For the health-conscious pupper who only shops at the organic farmers market.
Benefits:
- Limited ingredients (usually just meat)
- Fewer additives and junk
- Good for sensitive tummies
But fair warning: they often smell like a zombie’s foot. Your dog will LOVE that.
5. Dental Treats
Think of these as doggie toothbrushes with better flavor.
Pros:
- Reduce tartar and plaque
- Freshen breath (no more toxic farts from the mouth)
- Make you look like a responsible pet parent
But don’t skip real brushing just because treats help—your vet can still tell if you’re slacking.
How to Choose the Best Treat for YOUR Dog
Alright, let’s get personal. Not every dog treat works for every dog. That’s like saying every human loves kale.
Here’s what you really need to think about:
✔ Ingredients and Quality
Look for real, recognizable ingredients. If the label reads like a chemistry set, run.
Avoid:
- Artificial colors and flavors
- Excessive fillers (corn, soy)
- Tons of sugar
Dogs don’t need sprinkles.
✔ Size and Texture
Consider your dog’s size, breed, and dental health.
- Small dogs: smaller, softer treats
- Senior dogs: easy-to-chew options
- Big chewers: tougher treats or chews
Don’t make your Yorkie fight with a treat bigger than its head.
✔ Purpose of the Treat
- Training: small, low-calorie, tasty
- Dental: texture that scrapes teeth
- Spoiling: anything they love (within reason)
Pick the right tool for the job. You don’t use a hammer to butter toast.
✔ Calories and Weight Management
If your dog’s waistline is gone with the wind, watch the calories.
Treats can add up faster than my cousin at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Check the label. Use them wisely.
✔ Special Diets and Allergies
Some dogs have more dietary restrictions than a celebrity before a swimsuit shoot.
- Grain-free? Double-check.
- Single-protein? Easy to find.
- Allergies? Look for limited-ingredient options.
Your vet can help you navigate the “what won’t make my dog itchy” journey.
Reading Labels Without Getting a Migraine
Manufacturers can be sneakier than a dog stealing steak off the counter.
✅ Look for named meats (“chicken,” not “animal by-product”)
✅ Watch out for cheap fillers
✅ Avoid long lists of weird chemicals
If you can’t pronounce it, maybe skip it.
How Often Should You Give Treats?
Treats should make up no more than 10% of your dog’s daily calories.
Think of them like dessert. Your dog will always say “yes,” but you’re the responsible adult here.
Use them for training, rewards, and bonding—but don’t replace meals unless you want your vet giving you the look.
My Top Tips for Choosing a Good Brand
- Check reviews. Other dog owners will tell you if a treat is good or if it turns dogs into diarrhea fountains.
- Don’t be afraid to experiment. Dogs have preferences.
- Buy small bags first. Avoid being stuck with 10 pounds of treats your dog refuses to eat.
- Ask your vet. They know their stuff.
Conclusion: Don’t Overthink It (But Don’t Phone It In, Either)
Look, your dog doesn’t care about brand prestige. They’re not comparing ingredient lists with their friends at the park.
But you care about their health. Choosing the right treat means picking one that:
✅ Fits your dog’s needs
✅ Has quality ingredients
✅ Is appropriate for size and age
✅ Matches your goals (training, dental, spoiling)
And don’t forget the most important rule: if your dog loves it and it’s healthy, you’re winning.
Now go forth and treat wisely. Your dog will thank you with wagging tails, sloppy kisses, and possibly sitting on command for the first time ever.
